I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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