from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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