terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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