PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
