There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
