i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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