ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
