I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
