Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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