FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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