The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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