I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
