My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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