***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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