I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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