your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
