I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
