I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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