U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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