What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
