HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
