The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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