I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
