Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
