I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
