Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
