Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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