just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
