no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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