I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
