apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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