That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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