new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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