Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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