Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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