where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
