i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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