conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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