Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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