i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
should my penis look like a turkey
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
