I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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