This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
