this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
