Plan B is the new Plan A
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
