Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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