Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
