you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
