We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
