Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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