yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
