I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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