i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Congratulations! We have a period
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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