When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
