Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
